Thursday, July 23, 2009
♥
DRIP DROP OF MY TEARDROP
I have a heart of a paper right now, it can/will tear anytime. I cant stand this misery that im feeling now, I noe what I can do to take it away and make everyone ppl happy. But I just cant do it.
Some ppl has to live their life pleasing ppl, putting others before themself even if it means hurting themself. I thought I can turn it around, change my lifestyle, live for myself. Be happy by myself even though I have to be alone.
But by doing this, it hurt others around me even more than me hurting myself. Is this called selfish? Finding your own happiness at the expense on others? I dont noe...
There is so much pressure there that I have to face, so much I have to do. Is making others happy really the main priority and route that I need to head?
Should I just easily resort myself to the so called 'fate'?
Am I not destined to find happiness in my life?
Sometimes I wonder, how nice it would be if everyone could live for themselves and be satisfied with that,
but its not possible because this is reality we are talking about.
I dont want to have a mental breakdown,
I dont want anyone's life to be destroyed by me,
I dont want to indirectly cause someone elses future taken away by me.
I dont want to let ppl's hope that they placed on my be futile.
I got the solution that can take this ALL away, but I cant use it,
because my heart locked that 'saving potion' deep deep down
& I cant reach it.
its nvr easy dealing with this things.
Dear God, tell me what I should do would you?
Some ppl has to live their life pleasing ppl, putting others before themself even if it means hurting themself. I thought I can turn it around, change my lifestyle, live for myself. Be happy by myself even though I have to be alone.
But by doing this, it hurt others around me even more than me hurting myself. Is this called selfish? Finding your own happiness at the expense on others? I dont noe...
There is so much pressure there that I have to face, so much I have to do. Is making others happy really the main priority and route that I need to head?
Should I just easily resort myself to the so called 'fate'?
Am I not destined to find happiness in my life?
Sometimes I wonder, how nice it would be if everyone could live for themselves and be satisfied with that,
but its not possible because this is reality we are talking about.
I dont want to have a mental breakdown,
I dont want anyone's life to be destroyed by me,
I dont want to indirectly cause someone elses future taken away by me.
I dont want to let ppl's hope that they placed on my be futile.
I got the solution that can take this ALL away, but I cant use it,
because my heart locked that 'saving potion' deep deep down
& I cant reach it.
its nvr easy dealing with this things.
Dear God, tell me what I should do would you?
